Bristol Beau: Alternative Valentine's Day

Tis the season to be jolly! Jolly in love.. love for Valentine's Day... ah forget it! I could've started with a cheesy "Roses are red, snowdrops are white..." etc but decided against it (only to then go on and mention it anyway - sorry).
So, whether you love it or hate it tomorrow will see Bristol literally (yes, literally) bombarded with paired humanoids, eating food together, clasping one clammy hand to another clammy hand, staring into each others eyes (oh how they look like stars, I could get lost in those eyes *sigh*), and generally making everyone else feel a little bit uncomfortable - so gosh darn how should we celebrate this joyous occasion?

Here's Bristol Whipped's guide to the less vomit inducing best alternative Valentine's Day offerings the city has to offer:

Big Lebowski Fest
The Lanes: 8pm - 3am, Free
If you're not into The Big Lebowski then you should probably get out now... Just kidding! Although we would suggest you give it another watch, again and again, until you love it as much as us!
Without the awesome sounding entertainment (The Dukes Of Bordello live performance, Cb Sessions performance, screening of the film itself) it would be worth coming along just for the costume competition - perhaps you and your loved one could do some cosplay as The Dude and his rug? And of course, what's more romantic than getting tipsy on White Russians and pounding those balls into the gutter... Something about a strike...

Opera Gala - Bristol Choral Society
Colston Hall: 7:30pm, £5.38 - £26.88
If your sweetheart is a lover of getting it in the ear, music of course, then you'll want to be part of this! With over 180 members of Bristol Choral Society cooing some of the most passionate operatic choruses since R. Kelly's Trapped In The Closet this event is sure to leave even the most discerning music lover weak at the knees, or ears... *swoon*

After Hours: LOVE
@Bristol: 6:30pm - 10pm, £7
Little Sister from the Bristol Whipped team was once told by her beau of the time that "the thought of going in to a shop and buying you a Valentine's Day card makes me feel physically ill"... needless to say the relationship did not last, but the good news for all the rest of you who come out in hives even at the thought of going soppy can relax - this year you can keep it strictly scientific! Forget pouring your heart out to the one you love - why not try dissecting a heart instead?

Haunted & Hidden Bristol Walking Tour
College Green (start): 8pm, £5
Always wanted to recreate the pottery scene from Ghost? Well this could be your best chance this Valentine's Day (clay not supplied) as you get treated to a history of ghoulish apparitions and spooky sights around the centre of Bristol.
Forget chocolates and roses it's all about supernatural shenanigans!

The Birds And The Bees
M Shed: 6pm-7:30pm, £8
It's an important lesson for everyone - what does it take to attract a mate in the animal kingdom? With entry into Wildlife Photographer of the Year, the chance to get voyeuristic with slugs and their slimy secret parts, and the ambiguously named "Specimen Handling Table", you're sure to find the answer here.
Note: Taking tips from the mating habits of baboons or rabbits is strictly prohibited whilst in the exhibition space.

Cheep Romance
Bristol Zoo: All day, £20 for 2 adults
If you haven't quite had enough of animals then why not spend the day hand in hand with your honey-bun watching monkeys fling faeces lovingly at each other. Who said romance was dead?

If this list isn't enough to set your heart aflutter then gosh darn it you're either dead inside or you're far too sensible to be taking advice from us!

Happy Valentine's Day!
XOoxX (Big hug, big kiss, little kiss, little hug, big hug)